Highest Values - Know Who You Are
At one point or another in our introspection journey when we start connecting with ourselves (more on that on my previous article), we will face a very important question: what am I doing with my life? Well I guess we ask ourselves that question all time so never mind. More specifically, we will start asking ourselves what do I really care about? What do I really need? What do I really value and why?
Whether we realize it or not, we are all guided by some sort of values that govern our decisions and lives. It’s funny because we mostly live our lives unconsciously following certain values without realizing. These are the most important factor in human behaviour (well of somewhat conscious behavior let’s say, leaving behind insticts and behavior governed by hormones going crazy in our bodies). I was definitely unconscious of this for the majority of my young life. Your values are those things that you hold as valuable on their own right, and always worth pursuing/having. So they guide your life’s decision and they can be anything really: truth, goodness, love, connection, power, strenght, and an infinite list of others
So why is it important to ask ourselves the question of what do we really value? And more importantly, why? Because, if we don’t consciously choose our values, they will be chosen for us. Have you always heard an old man saying “young people these days don’t have values anymore!”. Well, I don’t think that’s true. It’s just that values in our society have changed, but everyone has values (for example, respect was a strong value in society once upon a time, not so much anymore…)
And what are our values in society these days then? Well… if you recall from my previous article, what our society values (and therefore the status quo of what most people by value by default) is very clear: money, material possesions, power, social status, external beauty, pleasure, technology, progress, comfort. Mainly money and material possesions really. Even values that have been important throughout most of human history have recently been replaced like family and spiritually with pleasure and entertainment
It’s very obvious if you look around that most of people’s actions nowadays are governed by some of thoes values in the list above. Of course, everyone is slightly different and a lot of people still care about plenty of other values like wisdom or honesty (not so much in business world ehem). But generally our world seems to move by these values. And they are obviously vastly different compared the the values of Christianism, Hinduism, Buddism, any religion or any line of philosophy in history
So what is the issue with this? The issue, is that I believe these values are vastly misguided. Why are there so many people nowadays feeling unhappy, frustrated with their lives, unfulfilled, with feelings of emptiness, with 40-50-60 year old crisis? Because of a lack of connection with ones values
I believe humans can be fulfilled with incredibly different lifestyles and in different environments. Each of us has to find our unique path in life. But all of us need to be connected to our values. And live in accordance to our highest values in order to be fulfilled and live in peace with ourselves. And generally Money, power, beauty, pleasure, and others while they may feel good for a short period of time, are really not nearly enough. Those are not truly our values. Well maybe there are a handful of people that TRULY value money and power above everything else on it’s own right. But I would bet that is the vast minority of humanity
If we live life according to what our current society tell us is valuable we will end up feeling empty, lost, depressed, and frustrated with life. This is why at one point during our journey within ourselves to discover our true selfs, this will be one of the most important questions we must answer: what do I actually value? And more importantly, why? Because in answering the why you will find what you truly value and what you initially thought you value but end up thinking actually not so much… For example money. You may think its one of your highest values. But if you start asking yourself why do you actually value it you will probably find that outside of the basic needs (and temporary pleasure you get from buying new things), you are likely placing a lot of value on it because more money = more social status or power and so you feel better about yourself when comparing yourself to others
On the other hand, your real highest values will hold true and still make sense no matter how much you ask yourself that question of “why”. In my personal case for example, consciousness / mindfulness is one of my highest values. Why? Because I believe all existence, life, and nature in the universe is beautiful and astonishing, unconciavably so. Whether there is a creator or not, I believe that the mere opportunity to be conscious of our own existence and the existence and grandiosity of the universe is the most valuable thing on it's own. As Carl Sagan said, we are the universe trying to understand itself. So I believe that achieving higher levels of consciousness, honoring this existence, and trying to continue this "understanding" of consciousness, the universe, and humanity is one of the most important things we can do in life, if not the most
You see? There is a very big fundamental difference there in that the value stands on it’s right. Of course there are always some assumptions/beliefs involved (ie that consciousness on it’s own is valuable would be questionable for many philosophers). But apart from some very basic assumptions or beliefs that you have, they should stand on your own. And of course you can totally disagree with me or with others in your values. That is exactly the point. That we consciously choose and deeply think in our values
Once we are clear on what those values are, the things that society tell us to worry so much about start having very little significance. And we realize that as long as we are living our lives as closely aligned with our values as possible, we will be finally find peace and fulfilment (always being kind to yourself, we are human after all and no one can perfectly adhere to maximum values 100% of the time!)
So next few weeks start asking yourself these questions: what are my values? What is driving me to make this decision this way? If I have to choose between one thing or another, what makes me choose this vs the other? And slowly start noting down your list of highest values and the WHYS. To help with this, all religions or philosophies have a certain set of values that they rest on, whether they explicitly list them or not. We are very familiar of course with Christian values in the West. And some philosophers also very explicitly talk about their main set of core values, like Aristotle who listed the following as the highest values for humans: Courage, Temperance, Liberality, Magnificence, Magnanimity (generosity), Ambition, Patience (temper), Friendliness, Truthfulness, Wit (joy), Modesty, Justice
Also to finalize, I’ll list below my highest values and why they are so important to me. Also note as time goes, we grow and change and our values can grow and evolve as well so it’s always good to keep asking yourself that why
Consciousness / Mindfulness: The ability to be aware of both the inside and outside worlds in the present moment. With experience to be able to be more present and aware of the nuances and intricancies of life. From the very little things in life to the existance of the universe itself. The ability to see the multiple layers of reality of all things and happenings
Why: I believe all existence, life, and nature in the universe is beautiful and astonishing, unconciavably so. Whether there is a creator or not, I believe that the mere opportunity to be conscious of our own existence and the existence and grandiosity of the universe is the most valuable thing on it's own. As Carl Sagan said, we are the universe trying to understand itself. So I believe that achieving higher levels of consciousness, honoring this existence, and trying to continue this "understanding" of consciousness, the universe, and humanity is one of the most important things we can do in life, if not the most
Peace / Equanimity: To have temper and calmness regardless of the outside circumstances. By being aware of your emotions and detaching from the happenings in the outside world, we come to peace with those around us, the world, and ourselves
Why: I believe that we truly have little control over what happens to us and around us. From the day in history and place we are born, to our DNA and natural tendencies, to our youth upbringings, to the society we live in. These happenings shape us in one way or another to the way we are. The universe works in misterious and unpredictable ways. Almost everything that will happen in our lifetimes falls outside of our control. So the sooner we accept that there will be distressing and what we would consider "bad" events, the earlier we will come to peace and realize we can only focus in what we can control: ourselves, our actions, our habits, and our reaction to outside events. Letting the rest of the world take care of itself whilst we try to make it a bit better with our actions
Compassion: to understand other people's situations and to show love and a willingness to help others and the rest of the world from a place of empathy
Why: We are all the same at the very core (even animals): beings that came into existence into a place that we can't fully understand or comprehend, with different levels of emotion and rationality, able to experience suffering as well as pleasure (and higher emotions). Again, we are the universe trying to understand itself. We are all in this together. The fact that I am like I am, and you are like you are, is just a matter of pure randomness of place/time of birth, uprising, DNA, etc. Our very society and the advances that we have made as a human race, is built upon generations and generations of others work. So the least we can do to one another is to show compassion, that we care for each other, and that we are all much more connected than we think we are in this individualistic society. Moreover, we are not gods, but we are the dominant species in this planet. So I think we need to act as caring parents towards this world
Growth: To strive to be better and better over time. Emotionally, mentally, physically, and as a member of a family/community/society
Why: One of the few absolute truth in this universe, is that the only constant thing is change. Ourselves, our lifes, and our surroundings will change continuously. If we don’t grow we decay. Since we are just another expression of existence in this universe, and that change is bound to happen, if possible we ought to become better and make sure that change in ourselves and the world is for the better rather than for the worse
Service to others: Attempt to dedicate your long term goals to the betterment of society. Don't focus all your effort and attention to your own wants and desires. Service to society and helping others is one the most honorable thing to do
Why: As a single human being, we are able to accomplish very little. We stand on the shoulders of millions of human beings that have accomplished great things before us. Humanity and human progress rests on the service that other human beings have done in the past. One of the best ways to honor our existance and awareness of the universe, is 1) by trying to help others reach that awareness of the universe and 2) by in any way do things that will improve society and the world today and/or in the future so that future generations and human beings can continue with this progress of the universe
Wisdom: Have “common” sense and be able to stay away from personal biases as much as possible. Aim to read and learn as much as possible so that over time you are able to use knowledge and experience to analyze situations and come to the best possible conclussions or decisions
Why: Untruthfulness and ignorace plagues this society nowadays. We need to strive to cultivate and share real wisdom among others. Ignorace leads to aggression, unjust judgements, wrong decisions, suffering, and in many cases death. We have the gift of wisdom and rationalit. We should aim to always have the best judgement possible and without biases make the right decisions for the betterment of those around us
Love: The unconditional appreciation and desire to see people/things flourish and be such as the way they are, without judgement. The admiration, appreciattion, and gratitude you have towards someone, something, yourself, and the universe itself
Why: I am profoundly impressed by existence. Everything about this universe is incredible, from what humans have accomplished, to how the brain and our bodies work, to the beauty of physics and workings in the universe, etc. I believe that the ultimate form of admiration and reverance to existence is love. Showing admiration to the happenings in the universe, the way nature is, how the people and relationships around us nurture us is the best way to honor our existence and God. Truly unconditional love is the ultimate way to be aware and honor God
Connection: To be in touch with your thoughts, your feelings, your body, as well as others and everything else around you. High consciousness and awareness automatically brings a higher sense of connection (you realize we are more connected than we think we are). We should strive to cultivate more togetherness with our thoughts and emotions as well with others
Why: Everything is connected. The more we strive to have connection, first with ourselves, and later with others and the universe, the more we will be able to experience and understand. The more we are out of touch with ourselves and the reality of the universe, the more suffering and conflict we will experience. The more in touch we are with this feeling of connection, the more we will reduce our selfimportance and ego. When we realize that we are all one and connected with everything, our focus on ourselves as individuals becomes absurd
